Shattered image of girls

18 Dec 09 - There is a saying that goes something like: "Girls are made of sweets and sugar and all the nice things, while boys are made of mud and sticks and yucky stuff." Can't remember the exact phrase but you know what I mean. Anyway that image of girls that I've always had in me is shattered.

There is this person at my current work place whom I talk to quite a bit with, and originally I thought that she was a nice and sweet girl. I just found out that at the work Xmas party that I attended today, that she smokes. Horror and shock. The thing is this just reminded me of my ex LTR, I realized that she smokes as well. It just surprises me so much that someone whom I thought was pretty nice sweet girl, ended up smoking and drinking like a party animal. Somehow just makes me feel that girls have two sides to them, and you cannot really tell how they're like.

Maybe this is the reason why I'm pissed off with my ex LTR, because all the while in front of me she is so sweet and nice, but I didn't realize that she smokes!!. Makes me feel like she has been lying to me all the while. I feel a bit cheated. Maybe she just wants me to marry her, so that's why she has been acting "nice". I'm glad I didn't marry her, because I did consider that at some point. But after I decided not to marry her, and she started showing her party animal ways, I'm glad I didn't marry my ex LTR. Are girls really so weak minded that they would do something that literally harms their body?

Which makes me think back about something which I heard before, maybe Mystery mentioned this, that a girl will be sweet and nice to the provider, but will still have cheat on the husband and have sex with a lover.

Anyways, my pristine image of girls has been shattered, I still have my hopes out there though, that there will be a perfect girl for me. I have always had this image that some girls were nice and sweet, but it is just so shocking to me that for someone whom I had that impression can turn around and be someone totally different. Maybe I've still got a  lot to learn, about girls.

Not to say that all girls are like that, maybe some of them are as what I think they are. This just makes me all the more determined to find out how girls are actually are. Are girls mostly just stimulus response creatures? Getting carried away by the atmosphere of the club and starts to let loose and smoke and drink? Are guys also stimulus response creatures too?

Field report after 2 years of non PU

1st Dec 09 - I haven't approached in a long time. A long long time. About 2 years in fact, and today I did a direct opener. I noticed a really hot chick, hot pants, well tanned, body, cute face everything.. A girl that gives me the feeling of "Yes! I want her!"

As embarrassing as it is to post the blowouts, I'll do it regardless.

Me (opener): Hi, I'm XXX, nice to meet you. I just thought you look pretty cute and I had to come and meet you. Because, you might be a scary person right?

Her: (Looks flattered) I have a boyfriend.

Me: Do you want another one? (tried to say this in a joking manner, but obviously didn't go through that well)

Her: (Looks creeped out now) No.. (and walks off)

I felt really euphoric after doing this approach, like even though it didn't go as well I would've liked, but I did it! and she's one of those girls where I knew I'd never approach back in the days before I started doing all this. Too much butterflies in the stomach. But even now, I still feel the butterflies, but it is different now. Different in the sense that I knew the butterflies were actually excitement. I'm actually excited at the thought of meeting this girl and anticipating what might happen, and I knew that I'd actually feel worst off if I had let that opportunity pass by and not approach.

So, why have I started approaching after so long of not doing anything?

Basically just broke up from a LTR.

Also..

I think, I'm still on a journey to grow and become more and as cheesy as it may sound, to find out what love is all about.

Craig's quick tips

Some quick tips from Craig from a DYD video.

1) Use the word maybe : "Maybe" I'll talk to you later.
2) Sit down with them and say, Sorry I'm late guys, traffic was bad blah blah, did you already get drinks without me? What did you get for me?
3) Name game - Make up stuff for each letter of her name

Another thing he did mention in the video is about how normal conversation is very bad for attraction, so don't be afraid to just stop the conversation at that point, and switch to something else. He also talks about how the art of talking about nothing, but making it very interesting and funny is good for attraction.

Monday and Tuesday

Monday.. opened up with the whether you can be a toothpaste model, On retrospect, I should have been more assertive with this opener. I have to put it in a way that I say she could be one. Not ask her whether she is one or whether she would like to be one.

Tuesday.. opened 3 girls :D First one in the coffee shop, I plowed through and made fun of her being a regular and knowing all the staff at the coffee shop and hi-fiving everyone when she walks in. (I should have gotten her number too!!)

Next one at the traffic lights, but soon parted ways.. I plowed through as well.

Third one in the gym, she was on the exercise bicycle, but didn't manage to stay long as I guess she's still exercising.

Things I learned
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1) I think I understand PLOWING much better now. It is not really stacking openers as what RSD seems to suggest. For me, my understanding is more like rolling with your opener long enough so that you can throw in some jokes and make her laugh and to by pass that few seconds when you initially open someone where they look at you stunned wondering why you're talking to them. I notice that when you make them laugh, instantly you're IN. And you can talk to them and they'll talk to you normally and you can continue on with the good vibe there.

Saturday 14th - another great night out

Today went to Brunswick instead of the usual city.

Went to a few laid back places and sarged there........ and then went into a high energy place (bimbos) and had some fun there too.

One bit realization from going out to these places is that people who go to laid back places, want to talk. While people who go to high energy places are less inclined to want to talk and they want to dance.

What made me realize this was that at Bimbos, there were these couple of girls at the dance floor. and went I started to talk to them, I notice the girl's mind was sort of wandering off and not paying attention. So I taught her the Melbourne handshake and she was really into that. However when I started talking again, then she started to look bored again.

Then.. there was this two set with an asian girl in it, and I previously talked to the girl at the bar, but she sort of brushed me off giving me the look. Later on I approached them again, but walking next to the girl who gave me the look and elbowed her gently. I turned and looked and she was all smiles and opened up. However I blew it for that one.

The other sets I did was pretty normal, I opened a set at Polly's who turned out to be working there and she seems quite well travelled as well. We talked for quite a fair bit, and I found out lots about her. We really did seem like we had a connection. However I felt like there wasn't really much of a sexual connection, no flirting going on etc.. so I left. So now I'm wondering how do I actually get the flirting going when we have so much connection going on??

Lessons learned
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1) In high energy places people wanna talk less, so BL is more important. also fun little kino games are good to play here as well, handshake games, handshake and then the twirl, thumbwars? Go and find out about other things which you can do here. And I think dance is also very important to do here as well.

2) How to amp up flirting when you are having a good vibe going on..? How to turn it sexual and kino more?

Friday the 13th.. very fun

Today went out with my wing, and met up with a couple of lair guys and tried to get into CQbar.

We first hung out at young and jacksons though, and I opened up this group who happen to be travelling. So I had a lot of fun talking to her finding out about what she's doing etc.. and she's very chatty.

Next, we tried to get into CQbar, but was knocked back because we didn't have any girls on us, so we went on to LalaLand.

Here I approached another set. Used an opinion opener, was pretty good, and there was this drunk girl as well, and my wing opened her.

Next went to GPO, and then opened 3 sets here. First one was a bunch of Italians. Here one of the guys asked me: So you're out looking for some ladies?

And I said.. Yeah, well I'm out being social, talking to people, and practicing my social skills. That guy laughed a little and said "Oh practicing your social skills" that's cute.. haha, I think that's a good answer when I next get that.

Then I moved on because it was obvious I wasn't going anywhere with that group, and I opened two asian girls by the bar. Used a direct opener like "Hey I saw you from over there and thought you were pretty cute, so I thought I'd come and talk to you" So I stayed as long as I could until they said that they have to go look for their friends, so I said talk to you later.

Next I opened an asian girl sitting by the table waiting for something. so I opened with "Hey I was a bit bored and you looked pretty bored too, so I thought I'come and talk to you."

Her: "Oh yeah, I'm just waiting for some friends"
Me: Damn those friends, how can they make people wait like that (in a funny tone and I noticed that she laughed a little and I knew I was in so I sat down in the chair next to her and started talking)

The interesting thing was that midway, this guy came up to the table and sat down too, obviously trying to cock block me, and was being a bit rude eventhough I was being friendly. Anyway, good experience of being AMOGed. I think I could have gotten this girl's number too though.

Next I opened a girl by the bar ordering drinks. Turned out she's like one of the owners of GPO or something like that. Opened up with "Hey, girls have this thing called a GAYDAR right?" Then I pointed out two people to her and asked her what she thought. That went pretty well, that we talked for a little bit, then she asked me my name and I found out hers.

Another interesting thing that happened tonight was that one of my wing's set which went out for hours. I joined him later on in his set, and we continued talking for another hour or so. Which thinking back, was really too long, should really have grabbed the number while we can. But they were really friendly and nice to talk to, so had lots of fun.

Lessons learned.
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1) I'm starting to think that there are some girls which are naturally more attracted to me, while other girls are not. The girls which I get most responses out of are the ones which are smaller than I am, and asian. I'm beginning to wonder whether it is because these type of girls are naturally more attracted to me because of physically I'm bigger than them or something else, but oh well.. this is just an observation from me at this point.

2) Keeping a positive vibe, eventhough I'm chilling alone at the bar. Another thing I did was to practice standing up positively and thinking positive thoughts and sending out positive signals to everyone. I notice that I feel more positive and therefore my Body language seems more positive as well. I think that is much better than thinking about things I did wrong etc.. and getting into my head.

3) Should go for the Number close.. Don't hesitate.. just DO IT.

4) How to transition from vibing very nicely to a more physical thing? Should go and read the physical escalation thing from de carlo or something like that.

July 7 - Beach club Docklands

I think I did about 5 approaches tonight. I don't think I did very well tonight, but hey I sure did try to get out of my comfort zone.

Some highlights of the sets I did:

Highlight 1
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Did the handshake and spinning the girls a few times, just testing it out, and I realize that all the girls will spin when you raise their hands up. Tried to do the thumbwars but then got ball busted by this girl but couldn't bust her balls back.

Highlight 2
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Was using opinion openers on a two set, and they started laughing, because earlier on my friend used the same opener on them. I tried to follow up with it, and then my wing came by and started using another opinion opener on them. Instantly I can tell that they started to lose interest. Sure was pretty funny.

Highlight 3
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I was sitting down and one girl sat on the back of the couch that I was sitting. I should have just leaned back on her right away, without asking for permission.

Newbie night - Friday 6th July 2007

Finally I got accepted as a full member in the Melbourne Lair.

All I had to do was to do 3 approaches, and that was pretty easy..

First set was a group set, next one was 2 girls in the street, and 3rd set was a group of Japanese and korean girls.

I also did 2 sets which I won't count, trying to stop people on the streets, but didn't manage to stop them.

At the end of the day, we had a long conversation with hypnostu, and some other lair members and I've learned heaps, especially from hypnostu. (thanks dude)

Lessons learned
1) Pay attention, pay very close attention to what the girl is saying not just with her words but what she's saying with her body. Be very attentive.
2) Always stay in the set until you get blown out. Don't blow out on your own, see how long and how far you can push the set until you get blown out.
3) iceman -> being very social and vibe with people.

After tonight, I decided to write a list of things which I have to work out. Sort of the collection of skill sets to ensure a successful pickup.
1) Improvisation
2) Language + communication skills
3) Noticing people, being attentive, observant
4) Good fashion
5) Being very social and vibing
6) Kino kino kino
7) Dancing (being comfortable in your own skin)
8) Voice projection
9) Reading people through body language
10) Aura of giving value rather than taking value
11) Story Telling

Fri + Sat + Thursday Gym

okay, Friday and Saturday was a bit of a mix results but here goes:

Friday - today I decided to test out the differences between natural game and canned game. Firstly what I have begun to notice was that my canned opener is failing to work, and I think it is most likely because of the way I'm coming across, so that's why I've been testing out natural opener like "How's it going?" and "are you guys having fun tonight?" Interestingly both these openers dont' get me anywhere too! But then I manage to learn more in the sense about what girls are thinking whenever guys approach them in the bars and clubs which is "This guy just wants to sleep with me" Today all in all I did about 6 approaches.

Saturday - today I think I did about 4 approaches only. Had the chance to meet up with Greg another PUA and did some interesting approaches together. His style is very casual and laid back, and most girls just open up to talk to him. What I learn from Greg is that you have to respect the girl's space, and to really approach in a non threatening way, not like you're trying to force yourself in, but naturally and calmly like you would approach a cat.

Thursday gym - Today I did 2 approaches. The one at the gym was the best because I could feel the sexual tension building and her attraction towards me, although I failed to # close her. I'm still puzzled why I failed to # close her. Anyway, I saw her lifting barbells which were only 2 kgs, so I said to her.. I think you can do more you know and teased her about having muscles. What I think I did right was that, firstly there was eye contact and a smile, then I waited for her to finish her set before talking to her briefly, teased her a little and then walked off. Later while I was doing my situps, she came to the same spot, chose to sit next to my exercise mat and did her situps. I continued chatting with her, and she restarted the convo with me a few times, and did ask me some questions about myself, so I was pretty sure that it was ON, but then don't know why she left after I had the chance to # close. Oh well.... the main thing was that I learned something important which is:

1) Smile, and project positive vibe around you
2) Eye contact then smile then approach is very powerful
3) Project happy vibe.. always project a happy cheerful vibe and girls will open up to talk to you.

Total: 12 approaches.

Cold duck feet and argentinian food scientist

Did two GOTD approaches today, first one was just a strange one, for me to test out new stuff.. Asking the girl whether she thought the ducks at Albert park feel cold in winter or not

Next one was outside the library, where she went out for a ciggie, so I walked up and had a nice convo with her. Found out she was from argentina, what she was studying, joked around a little bit. Said that I did creative dance as my uni degree, which made her eyes light up, (I think I should change it to exotic dancing, to be more obvious that I was joking)

Anyway, was good fun, and I should do this more!!!!

Fri + Sat night out

Friday night
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I hung out with my wing, in the St Kilda areas and did 5 approaches tonight. It was a pretty slow night as it was quite cold and foggy out, but yeah I have learned a fair bit tonight as well.

I did 3 approaches at Metropol and 2 approaches at Traffik. The main lesson that I learn was that opinion openers don't work that well anymore.. and I'm starting to wonder why, I used the same opener, and for these past two days they don't work very well at all, I wonder if I'm starting to give off a creepy pickup vibe.

Anyway, the first approach I did at Metropol went like this:

ME: opener....
Her: Why don't you go ask those guys over there?

Translation: It is so obvious that you are asking us this because you want to pickup, and so go talk to someone else.

I got a similar vibe from others as well, once more in Traffik.
Although I did come face to face with a girl with the persona in Traffik, had to deal with a lot of tests.... I ejected after a while though, because it wasn't going into a fun direction.

Lessons to be learned here are:
1) What sort of vibe are you giving off? The cool guy vibe that is having fun and enjoying himself or the creepy pickup guy vibe?
2) You have to feel comfortable in the club to give off the confident vibe, if not people can pick up on it.

Saturday night
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Today's another big night out with the melb lair guys. And I learned a lot as well today. First big thing that I learned was watching the guys who are really good. I noticed that they give off a very confident vibe, and wasn't running around the club so-called "working" the club.

My fav Brad Pitt opener didn't work well again today. What did work was opening with statements. The two statements that I tried was something like:

"Hey guys, it is illegal to be talking among yourself in the club, / waiting for something to happen / etc...."

"Hey I thought I'd be social and come talk to you guys.."

Big lessons that I learn today:
1) Girls are always thinking that all the guys are coming up to talk to them because they want a piece of their ass.
2) The context between day time and night time has changed, so that is why opinion openers work well during the day time. During the day time, girls primary question are: "Why is this guy talking to me?" So if you ask an opinion, then it justifies that. During the night though, they have the perception that: "All guys coming to talk to me asking me weird questions because they just want a piece of my ass." So this really makes me wonder whether my opinion openers don't work anymore because of the vibe I'm throwing off or whether it is because it just plainly does not work in the club because of the context.
3) Opening with statements are more effective in the club, and being the normal social fun guy is more effective. Giving off a cool fun vibe is more effective.

So tonight, I did another 5 approaches, and I think I have my first DHV story. What happened during one of my approaches was this: I was having a slow night, and building up my momentum, when I noticed these two girls sitting alone, not talking to each other. So I went up to them and said "Hey I thought I'd be social and come and talk to you guys" When I did that immediately to the far left, a bunch of guys starting laughing... I instantly knew that I have fallen into a trap that they were playing, seeing how many people would walk up and talk to their female friends.. So I ignored that, chatted with the girls for a while, wished them a fun night and walked away. Later that night, this guy ushered me, walked up to me and asked me to rejoin their group saying: Hey we LIKE you man!, Come and join us,.. So I joined them and it was really funny, I found out where they're from, etc...

And I got a number close tonight as well!!! Met this girl, she was really friendly, none of that persona that others have put up, so I was wondering whether it is because this person is friendly which I think is the case, or whether my approach with the others is wrong or is a combination of both. YEAH.. and the number was solid as well! What I think I did right, after getting the number, I talked to her for a bit, showed her the lying game. I did kino, but doing the handshakes, and vibed with her, found out about her etc.. gave her a reason for me to take the phone number, said how rare it is for me to meet someone that I can really connect with.

Summary
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So now I'm wondering what sort of approach should I be taking.. I really feel like I should be focusing on having a fun time at the club, and not caring whether I do my 5 approaches or not.. eventhough I have to keep it at the back of my mind to do so. Rule of thumb:

1) 3 second rule, just approach, keep approaching to build momentum and get into the talkative social vibe.
2) Don't worry about not having things to say, there will be plenty of things to say.
3) Opinion openers..... scrap it???

Not just cyclists wear tights

Today's GOTD, at the gym, saw this girl working out wearing tights, and I just so happened to be filling up my water at the water cooler. At the exact point in time she puts down her dumbells for a short break, I immediately opened with..

Me: Hey, you must be a cyclist right?
Her: (laughs) No, I'm not, why do you say that?
Me: Oh because I know a lot of cyclists usually wear tights, and you're wearing one.
Her: (laughs) No, it's because it is cold outside..

It was a short interaction, but I made a girl SMILE! which is the whole point :D

FR: Fri + Sat night out

Friday night
=========
Met up with a PUA from one of the forums, bounced around from bar to bar, and in total did about 7 approaches.

1st approach -> mixed girl half malaysian so got pretty good connection with her.
One lesson that I think I learnt here is about doing the "YES, and...." not the "No but..." This came up because I was chatting with her friend for a bit, and they mentioned that they were going to Metro. So what I did was I asked him, so you like the Techno music there or the RNB, and he lighted up when I said Techno, and so he asked me whether I liked Techno too, but I said No.. and I can see him a bit disappointed with that. So the lesson of the day is.... just go "Yes and...." to continue the conversation

Can't really remember all the approaches I did, because they didn't really go too far. But the few lessons I realized were:

1) At one point I asked the bartender which places would be good to go around here. She said "I wouldn't have a clue" eventhough I'm pretty sure she would. But then in hindsight I realized that it would be a bit out of place to ask a bartender that question
2) Another interesting one was when I opened a girl, and a guy instantly went up to talk to me. Found out that they were with a whole bunch of friends surrounding me like about 20 of them, and all of them had their attention on me talking to my target which made the girl uncomfortable. Anyway, got out of that situation, I wonder how would one handle that situation.
3) Another one I opened a two set outside guys toilet. It went like this:

Me: Hey just wondering why are you guys hanging outside the guys toilet?
Her: Why do you ask?
Me: Just curious.

It didn't go too well after that. In hindsight I think I should have said something stronger like:
"Hey why are you guys perving outside the guys toilet?"
Or gave a better reply like:
"Well, I'm concerned of my own safety"

Saturday Day Game
==============
Another fruitful day, met up with melb lair guys, kwiksilva, blackout, chau, manic, lots of other dudes. Did about 7 sets maybe more and # closed one girl :D

Anyway, day game is fun as usual, without all the distractions of loud music.
Some of the openers I used are:

1) shopping for shoes, pointed ones or the tapered ones, because pointed ones show the direction a man is going to therefore perceived to be more masculine
2) magazines men and womens magazines have pictures of beautiful girls in them
3) Hey you're pretty cute, so I decided to come and talk to you.
4) Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom
5) Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston

One important thing I learned, (thanks to Blackout) was about number closing. You have to give a reason to number close, either in the conversation you plan something ahead in time, or qualify her to you so that the number close becomes legitimate.

In the case of the jap girl that I number closed, I told her how easy it was to talk to her, plus we had wide rapport, talking about quite a fair bit of things, and also told her how she should go shoe shopping with me one day.

Fri + Sat total 14 approaches. Thurs + Sun didn't do any.. dammit, don't be a lazy ass..!